so i was looking up off bug spray ads and i was expecting to see some lady on a lawn chair with a bottle of bug spray but instead i saw
then i came across this gem
and this last one was pure gold
god bless you off bug spray
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE
how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.
So we know that at some point between Hamlet seeing the ghost and the play within a play he tells Horatio about what the ghost said (“One scene of it comes near the circumstance/Which I have told thee of my father’s death”). Imagine how Horatio reacted. They’re back in Hamlet’s rooms, the one place where they probably won’t be spied on, and Hamlet just pours the whole thing out.
And Horatio starts to panic because he knows Hamlet. He knows the absolutely ridiculous extent to which Hamlet self-narrativizes. He knows that as soon as Hamlet heard the ghost’s story his mind went to Orestes and Lorenzo and Vindice. Hamlet doesn’t have to say it. They both know he believes he will die taking his revenge. And Horatio starts half pleading half reassuring him No, those are only stories. This can be different. Promise me. Promise me, my lord. /My lord/. Hamlet, please, promise me you won’t die but Hamlet won’t make him a promise he can’t keep, so he just gets that mischievous look that tells Horatio a pun is coming and he’s all I promise you the only place I’m going to ~die~ Horatio, is right here in your arms, and Horatio’s like Please, my lord, this is /serious/, but Hamlet’s already kissing him and when Hamlet gets like this there’s no dissuading him so Horatio lets it go for now.
And then they’re in the great hall and Gertrude is dead and Laertes is dead and Claudius is dead and Hamlet has his revenge but none of that matters because Hamlet’s dying and he won’t let Horatio come with him so Horatio just. Holds him. Because Hamlet can forbid him to die, but this, this he promised.
I HAVE THE HEADCANON THAT DRAGONS THINK THAT MERMAIDS ARE SUPER COOL BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN WATER AND STUFF